Let’s face it: Being a millennial woman can be confusing and overwhelming. A lot of expectations are placed on us — from society, our families and even ourselves.
We’re expected to settle down, get married, buy a house and pop out a kid… but we also need to have a high-paying job, look like a supermodel and navigate the world as if we somehow automatically know what to do without even fully knowing ourselves.
That’s a lot of pressure, and it’s really scary.
With so much fear and anxiety in our generation, especially for women, we tend to let it run our lives. The key to living a happy and healthy life is to learn how to release the fears that hold you back.
Here are the six biggest mindset blocks that millennial women face and how to move past them.
1. You think you need to be perfect in order to deserve love.
This is a big one.
We’ve learned from a young age that the best way to receive the love and praise we crave is to shape ourselves into who we’ve been told is acceptable.
We think we need to be amazing at everything — all the time. We fear allowing weaknesses to show, so we avoid challenges that might result in failure or showing our true selves.
It’s time for us to recognize that perfection is impossible. Our deservedness of love is constant. You are enough.
2. You think you need to be realistic all the time.
Somewhere along the line, we seemed to have lost our ability to think big.
We’ve learned to settle for comfortable and safe. We need to pick realistic schools, realistic careers, realistic significant others and realistic lives.
Should you live with your head in the clouds all the time? No. If you believe you are capable of a great life (not just “good enough” one) are you going to take risks and reap the rewards of those risks? Absolutely.
3. You don’t know what you really want or who you really are.
Have you ever taken the time to get to know yourself on a deep level? Have you ever asked yourself what you truly value?
When you dissect your values and choices based on the life you’re leading right now, you’ll likely find that many of them are not your own.
Make a list of all the things you think you “should” do in life. Then write who or where that belief came from. Is this something you truly want, or are you just trying to live up to someone else’s values?
Now make a list of all the things that inspire you, the things that make you happy. Those are your true values.
4. You feel stuck in your bad habits.
These bad habits are a direct result of living out of alignment with your deepest values.
Maybe you don’t want to go out on weekends and drink too much anymore? Somehow, you just can’t seem to break out of the cycle.
Well, remember that anxiety that comes up when we know there’s something more out there for us, but we’re too fearful to go after it? These “bad habits” have continued because they distract us from those feelings. We get to forget for a bit that we aren’t feeling fulfilled.
When you determine what your values really are and start acting in accordance to them, the bad habits tend to fall away because you’ve filled that void with something truly meaningful.
5. You’re afraid to ask for help.
Yeesh, everything seems to be coming back to that whole perfection thing. How can we ask for help if we think we need to be perfect at everything?
Asking for help feels like admitting we have faults. Like I said, perfection is impossible. You can save yourself years of frustration and loss of confidence by simply getting the help you need to move forward.
6. You don’t know how to love yourself.
For a culture that’s become somewhat self-absorbed, some of us haven’t made the self-love connection.
We constantly compare ourselves to others, beat ourselves down for not being perfect (again, see #1) and hide our true selves from the world as if that person isn’t good enough.
The is true, though: “We can’t love anyone or anything else fully until we can love ourselves.”
We are a capable and wildly powerful generation of women. It’s time we live within that power and live up to the potential waiting inside. As soon as these mindset blocks are cleared away, you can awaken to the happy, healthy and fulfilled life that you deserve.